Participating With My Wife In Simple Church

Walking through the emptiness of the house I miss her, especially on this day – Sunday. Beth is getting to spend two awesome weeks with out daughter, Kerre, who is seven months with child. The past four days the house has been pretty empty, but it is today that I seem to miss her the most.

Why? Because in a few hours I get to gather with other members of our church and share a little life together and she will not be with us.

For the first 30 years of our our marriage we would “go to church” and not talk with one another for about three hours. When we arrived I would head off to some duty near the church office and Beth would make her way to teach a children’s Sunday school class. Later you could find me getting ready to  go into the worship center and she would be warming up her voice to sing in the choir. When the service ended I was meeting and greeting everyone while she was gathering her teaching materials. Finally we got to sit together in the car on the way home to try to talk a little about what we experienced. Something similar happened on Sunday evening on again on Wednesday night.

One of the joys of simple church is the way in which we are able to participate together with our friends. Here are some of the things that mean the most to me.

  • Together, we are in the same room
  • Together, we drink a little coffee
  • Together, we participate in mutual edification with the body of Christ
  • Together, we hear the Holy Spirit speak to us and through our friends
  • Together, we see and hear what God is doing in the lives of the children
  • Together, we share the overflow in our every day lives

I love participating in our simple church with my wife and with fellow believers.When we gather today, I will miss her, but I will enjoy being with my friends.

Grace and Peace,

Terry

Mutual Words Of Comfort

Sipping the cold drinks and feeling the Spring breeze was refreshing. Two old friends sitting outside at the small town Sonic. A few months preceding our conversation my friend had experienced the death of his wife of more than 50 years. He shared that through many years of ministry he had stood among hundreds of families and expressed the hope found in 1 Thessalonians 4. I will never forget the look in his eyes as he said with confident assurance, “Terry, all those things I told them work!”

F.B. Meyer outlines the comforting words of 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18 this way:

  1. Those who die in Christ are with Him.
  2. Those who die in Christ will come with Him.
  3. Those who die in Christ shall be forever reunited with us who wait for Him and them.

These are words of comfort to those experiencing grief at the graveside of a loved one. They are valuable when we hear them coming from someone preaching a funeral message. They strengthen us when others reach out to us when someone close to us dies.

But we should not limit words of comfort to such times, nor hear them only from preachers.

The Bible calls for continual, mutual comforting, not occasional sermons from a solo preacher. The phrase “comfort one another with these words” in verse 18 carries the construction of a command that is to be habitually carried out. This comforting is to be a long-term commitment to one another and a life habit of those who follow Christ. Our comforting is a mutual ongoing ministry to and from one another.

If we rarely spend time with one another during the week and if the format we employ in weekend worship services focus on those standing on a platform speaking to us, how can this mutual comforting take place? If our small group or simple church gatherings are characterized by one person doing all the talking, where is the mutual aspect of speaking to one another?

In addition to comfort offered at the time of a death, we find encouragement through regular times of gathering together. When we meet together we mutually share words of comfort whenever we remind ourselves of the hope we have in Christ Jesus.

That day, at an outdoor table at a Sonic, two Christian friends met together. I offered comfort to my friend. He brought hope and encouragement to me. We both went away strengthened and comforted because we practiced this one another passage.

Words of hope are not to be confined only to the words of pastors. They are to be mutually spoken to one another. Our simple churches, small groups and cell groups are great places for this to happen.

Look for ways this week to give and find encouragement and comfort.

Grace and Peace,

Terry

10 Practical Ways To Help A Grieving Friend

Helping with the laundryI don’t know how many times I have told a friend, “If there is anything I can do to help, just call me?” but I do know that they almost never call. When someone is experiencing grief at a time of death it is especially difficult to ask for help. The reasons may range from not knowing what to ask for to feeling guilty about being the center of attention.

Rather than asking them to call you if they need something, know what you do well and take the initiative with some specific offers of help. You could choose one or more from the following list of ideas or use it to spark your own creative ideas.

Practical Ideas To Help A Grieving Friend

  1. Bring dinner or a meal that can be frozen to be heated later
  2. Make phone calls
  3. Shuttle family to and from the airport
  4. Help with children
  5. Provide transportation to run errands
  6. Tend to the needs of pets or plants
  7. Help clean the house
  8. Mow the lawn
  9. Do laundry
  10. Go grocery shopping

If you have any other ideas of actions one can take to help a friend at the time of a death in the family use the comments section below and share them with us.

Grace and Peace,

Terry

Some Ways To Comfort Someone At A Time of Loss

Yesterday, eyes filled with sorrow fixed upon me as I stood before them. It was the second funeral among the same group of friends within a three week span.I prayed the Spirit, whom Jesus called the Comforter, would speak to and heal their hearts.

My mission was to fulfill the admonition of 1 Thessalonians 4:18. Here we are told to “comfort one another” (NASB) or “encourage one another” (NIV). The word used in this passage means to come along side of, to help, to console, to encourage, to strengthen, to comfort.

As I stood before the family I was well aware that I was not alone. There were more than 100 people gathered in the room and they were there to fulfill the same mission – to partner with me in this comforting. Many more had come and gone and others were yet to step into the lives of those experiencing loss.

When one of your friends is going through the death of a loved one, you may struggle with how to help them. Here are a few simple ways that you can comfort and encourage.

  • Be available. Having friends and family near can mean a great deal.
  • Be willing to sit in silence.
  • If you don’t know what to say – say that.
  • Listen more than you talk.
  • Let your friends express their feelings (even bitterness and anger) but don’t press if they don’t feel like talking.
  • Don’t use cliches or tell people that time heals all wounds. Avoid the phrase, “I know how you feel.”
  • Appropriate human touch such as holding a hand, offering a shoulder to lean on, or giving a hug can be reassuring
  • Don’t be afraid to talk about their loved one and share memories and stories if they want to.
  • Don’t be afraid to grieve. It’s OK to cry with them.
  • Remember, this is about them – not about you.

If you have any suggestions about how to comfort someone at the death of a loved one, share it with us in the comment section below.

Grace and Peace,

Terry

You Are Loved and You Belong Here Now

Running to the door, his little voice shrieks in delight with, “Hi, Bill.” He’s only two years old and the friend at the door is more than 50 years his senior but the love in the greeting cannot be missed. He truly is excited and pleased that Bill is in the room. The fact that the best place to practice the one another’s of the New Testament is in small relational settings is demonstrated again. Both know they belong in this place now.

In four different places we are told that when the church gathers we are to “greet one another with a holy kiss” (Romans 16:16; 1 Corinthians 16:20; 2 Corinthians 13:12; 1 Peter 5:14).

The churches in the province of Asia send you greetings. Aquila and Priscilla greet you warmly in the Lord, and so does the church that meets at their house. All the brothers here send you greetings. Greet one another with a holy kiss. – 1 Corinthians 16:19-20  NIV

The “greet” part of these verses is universal for all the believers. The “kiss” part is cultural. We should always greet each other in ways that are culturally acceptable. The “holy” part points to our unity – we have all been set apart and belong to God’s family. No one should be left out.

The central idea is that we are in a special relationship with other members of the church and should act accordingly. Our greetings should demonstrate that we are truly brothers and sisters in Christ and convey that:

  • you are loved
  • you are needed
  • you are cared about
  • you are accepted
  • you are wanted
  • you belong

Our meeting and even our eating will be meaningless if we do not do things God’s way and lovingly “greet one another.” Do you have any “greeting” stories to share?

Grace and Peace,

Terry